She Makes Me Randy!!!

Yeah, Baby! Yeah!

For the past several months, Mrs. Shooter has been unemployed. Thankfully, she quit a job that was sure to kill her. Two bosses that treated her like a dog and no support from her fellow co-workers. One boss was a 60-something Barbie doll wannabe with more plastic in her than in her purse, and the other was a mean drunk prone to writing mission statements in a drunken stupor. I am also convinced he was schtupping the "Barbie Boss" on the side. This guy looked like Lenny from "Laverne and Shirley" and used my wife as a whipping post when he didn't get his way.

My wife has been very happy since leaving. She plays tennis regularly, and has been giving lessons quite frequently. She has her league nights the same night I have Tac Tuesday. Next week, her team is competing in Dallas for a state championship.

She has been actively searching for a new gig. Until last month, she has been striking out on job interviews. Seemed no one was hiring. A referral to a staffing agency has turned up two job offers, and one has seen fit to bring her back in a couple of weeks for a THIRD interview. Everyone at chez Shooter is extremely excited. In the meantime, she has been getting really bored. You see, there is only so much apartment cleaning and tennis playing and coffee drinking with friends that she can do. It was up to me to make her happy.

This was a hard task to perform. For one thing, we didn't have a bunch of money to spend with me being the sole bread-winner. Also, I needed to find something, anything, that would provide her with cerebral stimulation. I have pampered here with a day spa package and hair styling package (guys, trust me on this, guaranteed to get what you want if you spend the money on a day-spa package), and showered her with flowers and small gifts just because I could. Shooter's wife was still lacking that one thing to make her happy. Enter the Range.

The Dark Lord Of The Range (aka The Owner) likes to put up some cutie patooties behind the counter as window dressing, and to relax his female clientele. Seeing as how he could not hire me to provide some P/T work and infuse my bank roll with some needed dough, I asked about the Missus. Dark Lord was almost insistent that I bring her by for a chat. I got the impression that he would hire her on the spot, seeing as how he was short handed on the feminine side.

I am now the envy of all my friends at the range and elsewhere. Who else here in the blogosphere can honestly say their wife works in a gun store? Well, maybe a couple of you. I am truly blessed to have a wife that is excited to be working there. She has jumped into the work with both feet and is really having fun. Her friends think it is the coolest thing and ask all sorts of questions. She also has a generally inquisitive mind and likes to learn new things. Ever since we started dating, I have worked to educate her on firearms and safety. I have taken her dove hunting and she has been to the range with me on several occasions. Now, she spends more time at the range than I do.

I know I truly love this woman. This past Thursday, I came in during her shift to participate in the Thursday night IDPA league match. Fourth out of 15 people that night, but that is another story for another day. I had some time to kill and was talking to Mrs. Shooter when she waves me over to another display case and says those magic words every husband longs to hear, "This is the gun I want, Honey!"

That is the first ever recorded orgasm I had with my clothes on. She was showing me a 4" XD-9. In the back of my mind, I had hoped she would become more comfortable around guns by working here, and secretly prayed she would pick out a gun for her own protection. In the past, she really enjoyed shooting Dad Shooter's Glock 17, but had a bit of trouble popping out the mag one-handed. I could easily see her using a 1911, but she still complains about spring tension and how hard it is to rack the slide. With time and bullets downrange, springs loosen up and guns are broken in. Another femme pistolera, I shall call Teacher, uses the smaller Glocks because they fit her hands better. She is similar in build to wife, but about an inch shorter.

Our agreement still stands. Once she is employed in a full-time job for more than 30 days, I am 'allowed?' to buy her a gun. We go round and round on this topic, but in all reality, I am going to get that XD-9 for her. She's had considerable time at the Range to play with the rental guns and sale items to see what fits her best. I think she means it when she states I am not going to buy a second gun for myself. As she told me last night, "Learn how to shoot the one you already have!" That's the beauty of owning different guns, each one is unique in and of itself. I enjoy shooting compact 1911s as much as shooting my Tac XD-40. Tactical Shotgunning is gonna get so much better when I get a shorter barrel and extended magazine tube on my 870. And nothing beats drawing down on a coyote at 250 yds. with my 30-06.

I will get another gun, namely that Rock River AR-15 flattop sitting pretty in the gun case at the Range. I have only had limited trigger time on an AR-15, but love how they shoot. I don't know why I haven't picked one up sooner. As I was mentioning to a guy last week, an AR-15 is like a Jeep CJ. There is so much you can do to personalize it. Add tactical rails, big lights, holo-sights, removeable handguards, collapsible stocks, match triggers, titantium firing pins....the list goes on and on. Heck, you can even paint it up in your favorite camo or "Barbie" colors. Actually, AR-15s are more like golf clubs than Jeeps. Change out the uppers for different calibers and different situations. Just a bit of work and you have yourself a full blown Swiss Army gun. I wonder if someone makes a golf bag capable of carrying the different uppers?

Ideally, I would like two or three complete AR-15s. The first will be a flattop tactical model. Get the shortest barrel legally, and have the accessory rail forend. I definitely want a Surefire light on the front with a pressure switch. Flip up front and rear sights along with a red dot style scope on top. This one would have interchangeable uppers from .223 to the pistol calibers (9mm and .45ACP) for use at the range and for general plinking and home defense.

Another AR-15 for me will have to be for long range shooting. I will definitely research barrel twist and lengths to acheive maximum accuracy at distance. I'll have to work up some handloads, too. One upper will have to be .223 for small game and coyotes. Probably have one of those carbon fiber fore ends and a flip up front and rear sight for those quick offhand shots. Dropping in a match two-stage trigger will be mandatory, need that control. A scope would have to be on the range of a variable up to or higher than a 10x with a 50mm objective lens with click adjustments. More research needs to be done on my end to see what other calibers I can convert to, but I definitely want a .50 Beowulf upper, too. Just so I can piss of liberals!

Now, if you will excuse me, my wife is working at the range, and I am getting randy just thinking about it. I know it is just a short term job, but I am gonna enjoy it while it lasts. With a wife like her, who needs Viagra?