3.08.2007

Bear with me.

Bear with me a bit longer. The "At Your Feet" short story is almost finished. I just have to hash out a few details for the conclusion. It may need a rewrite in a couple of critical points. We shall see. I am going to repost the story in its entirety so you don't have to backtrack to the older post.

It's been a long bit of time since I last posted to the blog. I thought I would have some wonderful news to share with you. Turns out that is not the case. Maybe some time down the road I will tell you all about it and how I'm feeling. I'd thank you very much to keep me and Swede in your thoughts for the time being. No, no, nothing terrible or life-threatening, but a couple of warm fuzzy thoughts would be nice right about now.

We're dealing with another relationship crisis this week, as well. Here's the long and short of it: Five months ago, one of our best friend's father passed away. I'll tell you how close we are; she's the matron of honor and her husband was my best man. Let's call her Matron and him Best. Matron emailed to let us know of her father back then and I know for a fact that Swede responded via email. The problem is, she responded via AOL Email. If any of you have lived through AOL's email at any time, you know that there is a real possibility some gremlin in the system will snatch it away and never give the email back. Like I said, I watched her hit the send button and send our condolences and thoughts to Matron and her family.

From what I gathered in that email (heck, it was in swedish. Swede had to translate), Matron was going through a rough patch, let us know, and informed us she may be incommunicado, or hard to reach for the time being. Swede responded that it was okay, and we'd be here for her whenever she needed to reach out to us. Not much for us to do from half a world away, but it is nice to have a friend to email, chat, or talk on the phone with when the chips are down and you just need to hear a friend's voice.

Fast forward five months. Swede and I haven't heard from Matron in a while. She drops a quick "hey, how ya doin?" email hoping to get a response and update on the new baby, family, house, and how she's feeling. Swede instead gets a nuclear bomb of a missive from Matron that just skewers her. I was in the other room studying (poorly) for accounting when she came in just stunned. Swede told me she had some really bad news from Matron. From her look and tone, I thought the absolute worst case scenario. Matron lambasted her for not responding in over five months, not caring, and not being a friend enough to contact her after her father passed. Swede immediately responded hoping to clear up the matter by telling her the email was sent and we were there for her no matter what. Matron came back with the ultimate killing shot. Since Swede was uncaring enough to not contact her, Matron effectively ended what I consider an extremely tight friendship.

I don't know what to think right now. I'm not stuck in the middle, just hanging out here on the periphery of the whole ordeal, but this is eating me up as much as my wife. Swede did the only thing she could do, write back and hope her words broke through the anger and hurt Matron is feeling right now. Shit, if I didn't hear from my best friend after my father died, I'd be a bit pissed off, too. Wouldn't you?

This all happened on Monday this week. Swede was right on top of it from the get. I was going to wait and see what happened and by Wednesday morning couldn't keep my big nose out of it any longer. I wrote to Matron myself, hoping that my words didn't cause more damage and friction. I just wanted her to know that it could not end this way, not after all these years of friendship. To chuck it all away because of a perceived sleight? No. I can't stand for it. I took vows to make my wife happy, and to protect her when she's hurt. That woman stood there with us when I made those promises. I cannot abide by this.

I wasn't mean or disrespectful. I hoped to remind Matron that we have a great history as friends. I don't want to have to show my children and grandchildren our wedding photos and explain we never speak of the other people in them because they were mad at us. I want to look at those photos and say we have a long history together as friends.

How can a person get around this? I want nothing more than for this to be over with. My whole being cries out to our friend to respond to us. Fuck, just let me know you don't ever want to speak to my wife again. Tell me, personally, to kiss off. Yell, scream, stomp the floor and bark at the moon. I don't care! Just don't end it like this.

To show you how bad I am, I don't even have her email or phone number saved to my cell phone. I don't even know how to dial internationally. I have enough trouble trying to make toast. Swede and I have done what we can. Only time will tell if we're too late to save this relationship.

I can only speculate on Matron's state of mind now. She recently had a baby, her father passed away, and her mother is really sick. I have no doubt she is overloaded with stress. That stress level is incomparable. Even at my worst, I never saw stress that bad.

My wife and I really want to do something right now, but decided it was best to wait it out a couple of weeks. We'll see if she responds, or completely dismisses us. God, I pray she finds herself again and opens up to us. I don't want to see another friendship destroyed.

2 comments:

jessica said...

I can well understand the situation you and your wife are going through.....such bad patches do come in life but we need to deal with it. Your friend Matron is just going through a hard phase and being mentally a lil unstable she is made to think that everything is working against her. all I'd suggest is just as you guys have been with her mentally,keeping her in your prayers do so and soon with time Matron would realise and all will fall back in place.
If you find time do drop by my blog coz there may be some posting which may be of help to you.

Robert said...

Everyone has to go through these relationship blues dear...everyone under the sun...I know it pains but take it from me...nothing can end as long as its not for the best...am sure everything would fall in its place soon...u just have to give it sometime...have faith in urself, ur relationship and God....things will be better soon..best wishes :)if u want any help...never hesitate to give me a buzz in my blog...it would be my greatest pleasure if I can be of ur any help :)