I thought I would leave this post for Monday, but I can't wait any longer. Need to purge a bit of stress here and announce some bad news.
As of Monday, July 2nd, I no longer work for Frost Bank. I was let go. I won't go into details, I will not assign blame, I will not badmouth the people and institution I have grown to love over the past five years. I worked at a great bank and was surrounded by some wonderful people. I'll be hard pressed to find another work environment like that again.
It really sucks to come back from vacation to find out your services are no longer required by someone. The least they could have done was give me this week and drop me like the bad habit I am on Friday. Less prone to go postal and all.
I'm far from postal. Like I said, I worked for a great company. Sure, I'm bummed. I have bills, loans and a hefty mortgage to account for. Swede is pissed that I am leveraged to the hilt right now. Gonna take a long time for her to get over it. Hell, it's going to take a long time for me to get over it. Where do I go from here?
I've got some marketable skills. I am not a total waste of flesh in the job market. I could go to another bank and work in the same position I was let go from. Problem is, I have been doing it for over five years. I am kinda tired of opening new accounts, letting people into their safe deposit boxes, and wiping up after them when they lose their checkcards and checkbooks. Time for a change. I am looking for that next big step. That next great challenge is supposed to be right around the corner for me. I can just barely make it out.
This ain't my first rodeo. I have now lost a total of three jobs where I didn't tell the boss to shove it first. It was a catalyst in the past to get off my duff and do something with my life, but here it is just a bump in the road. Right now, I don't feel that sudden urge to get out and conquer the world as the great Shooter I am. Call it summer doldrums or lack of motivation. I call it fear. Outright fear of the unknown. I don't know if anyone will hire me. I don't know if anyone will hire me at the same or higher pay scale. I don't know if I am going to make it in my next venture.
I do know this...I want that next big step to happen. I am not going to sit idly by and watch as the world passes me up. I did that too many years ago and it cost me. I didn't take advantage then, and I paid for it. Now, I need to step up and be the man that my wife married. Right now, I am the lazy lump, and Swede is kicking my ass all over the house.
I'll be able to work more on the "Ambush" story in my down time. I've got some job fairs lined up. People who've heard the news are offering their letters of recommendation for me, too. I hope things turn out for the better soon. The fear of unkown is more palpable because I am on my own and trying to start a family. I can't go running back to mommy and daddy to kiss the bo-bo and make the bad man disappear. I am it. The end all and be all of my own existence.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Monster.com is in need of another resume.
I'll keep you updated with the job hunt details. One of the shinier points of this is that I am no longer obliged to keep customer information confidential. I never really talked about work before and I really don't plan on it, but there are a few anecdotes that are worth mentioning. I still won't divulge particulars, but give you enough to maybe elicit a chortle or snicker.
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