I was reminded again this week that life is indeed very fragile.
Swede called me at work on Tuesday because a co-worker's 4 month old son was just flown to Texas Children's Hospital. He was found in his crib not breathing and unresponsive. He was rushed to the nearest emergency room by HFD and Hermann Life Flight was called when the doctors there determined TCH was a better place for him. Doctors, nurses, medics and the LifeFlight crew worked tirelessly to keep this child in this world. The flight medics were able to restore a pulse en route to TCH, but the little tyke was unable to resume breathing on his own.
Doctors at Texas Children's pronounced him brain dead shortly after arrival. No chance of recovery.
Mom and dad are beside themselves. Everyone at Swede's office is in shock.
Swede and another pregnant co-worker are very VERY concerned.
Someone in her office pulled Swede aside and gave some sage advice. He told her to put her focus back on our unborn child. He said she should be happy and enjoy the pregnancy now, and not dwell on the loss of her friend's son. It is a sad thing to be sure, but there was nothing she could do to prevent it, and no amount of comfort she can provide the family will make it any easier for her. He was smart to tell her to direct her focus on the child inside her belly. It takes away the stress of the loss and channels that grief into positive energy.
Sure, she can grieve and provide comfort for her friends, but we both have to remember what is important to us. We cannot let their loss consume us in the way it has consumed them right now. It sounds harsh, but in reality it is not. We do truly anguish over the lost young soul. Swede and I are happy to know these people, and were just as excited to celebrate the birth of this young boy. We now have to share in the family's sadness while simultaneously preparing for our own celebration.
This week has been Hell for everyone at Swede's office. More so for her. Swede and I are torn between what we have and what they don't have. We want to offer condolences in person, but at five months, the belly on Swede may not be easy for her friend to look at. It would be too painful a reminder of what she just recently lost. Services are on Monday. Swede so desparately wants to go, but is having further reservations.
I reminded her about her co-worker's words. She cannot dwell on this as much as she wants to now. While it would be good for her to go to the service, I fear the emotional strain may be a bit much for her, too.
Damned if you do...damned if you don't. This is a shitty way to run a railroad.
Swede and I are praying for the family right now. It is about all we can do. I want so much to see a giant space/time rift open up so we can go back and change the past. Not gonna happen today, but I'm still praying for it.
I'm reminded of the phrase, "God never gives us more than we can handle." I just wish it wasn't so damned much.