Buy you a cookie?
To the crack-house proprietor in our beat last night: I'm well and truly sorry business was so slow for you. My training partner and I worked very hard to drum up business for you. Every time we drove by, though, there were no customers to be found. What gives? We even went so far as to tell some of our friends about you. I'm sure you'll like them. They love crack. They love it so much, they'll do anything to get some. They even have a dog that likes crack. Can you believe it? A dog that likes crack. That's like a cigarette smoking monkey or something.
Anywhoo, hope sales pick up for you. If not, you might wanna rethink your marketing strategy.
An Ode to the EMS Whacker
2 days ago