Took a break from my classic book list and read the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. Yeah, laugh and point. Go ahead.
Have you stopped? Good.
I was bored. Needed something to read on the Kindle, and nothing was grabbing my interest at the moment. I'm halfway through a story by Antoine Saint-Exupery, trying to muddle through MSG Paul Howe's instruction manual, and haven't even scratched the surface on Chris Kyle's autobiography. I was in a rut. And I needed something to occupy my mind for the last week working overnights.
My interest was piqued while on patrol two weeks back. I ran into a woman reading the book while patrolling the campus lots. She was parked in a corner of one lot that doesn't draw a lot of attention. Only reason I made contact was the fact that she was blocking a moving lane of traffic in the lot.
Pull up beside her. Beautiful young lady. Wouldn't throw her out of bed if I were single. She's not even paying attention to her surroundings. Bad thing to do in this part of town. I tap on her window and realize she's trying real hard to....umm, how should I phrase this....'double click her mouse button.'
She looks at me in abject horror. Puts the book down on her lap and tries real hard to wish me away. All the color drained from her face. Had she parked in a stall, there'd be no problem. Ten minutes in a moving lane of traffic...problem. Not that big a problem. Campus was closed for the evening anyway. I just wanted to make sure she was alright, and get her to move the car to a safer spot.
Well, me trying not to laugh too hard, and her embarrassment aside, she moved, and I resumed patrol. Enjoyed the laugh.
Couple hours later, I go down south to check a satellite campus. It is out in the sticks. Takes five minutes to patrol when closed. I usually catch a bum or turd trying to camp in the back. Not too fancy, just run their identifiers and kick them to the curb.
As I make my approach, I spy a vehicle parked at the far entrance (only have two points of entry onto the property). Noticed the engine was running, but the sun screen was blocking the windshield. Position the patrol vehicle, call out and pop the lights on. Don't know what I'm facing, so I make my approach wide and unholstered.
I peer in the passenger side to see a pretty young woman three knuckles deep into herself. The way she moved around, you might think she was dreaming of riding the bull at Gilley's. Before I interrupted her, I checked the interior. No drugs, alcohol or other contraband. Back seat clear. (Yeah, she was that into herself. She never saw me) But there was a copy of "Fifty Shades" on the passenger seat.
I tap the window and break her from her 'ministrations.' Guys, if you've ever had to cover up cuz your mom walked in, you know how that must feel. Didn't have the heart to give her too much static. Just warned her that the campus was closed and she should find somewhere else to be.
So that got me thinking about the book. I bit down and loaded it to my Buckley (what I call my Kindle). I've read better stuff from the Penthouse Forums, to tell the truth. As advertised, this was porn for bored housewives. I did like the character development at first, but it didn't get much better. Plot? Meh.
Waste of money, to be sure. It did kill several hours of overnight work, though.
So, I Wrote A Thing…
2 weeks ago